Friendship

Julie: You love me.

Ian: And you love me.

Julie: Yes.

Math and Minds

I lost the one that goes with my two.

The only thing that keeps me believing in love is music. Humanity is too corrupt and poised for let down. Music, or sound in general never tells a lie. It is the human, or their mind, that tangles sound to trick the brain. It makes you question yourself at that point. If the sound is without a doubt pure and real, it's God, metaphorically and literally. It depends what your outlook is on life.

Brotherhood of Man

I have been listening to The Innocence Mission lately. I wish I had a lovely singing voice like this woman. Karen and Don Peris, will you adopt me?

If

If I was always on your mind, well you didn't show it.

I Recommend the Pecan Pie

Recorded on the 11th of August, 2009:

Hello, I'm talking through my phone right now which is connected through my headphones. It kind of cool. But anyway, I was just rambling to myself inside my head and what I've come to the conclusion of is that the reason I freak out sometimes is because I never know if I'm right or wrong.

What is really right? What is really wrong? There so many different types of people with different morals, varying ways they hold and watch themselves. Is there even anyone that has correct morals? And if so, who are they? How do we follow them? How do we change the head and heart that is inside our body to the way of that person that is 100% right and knows when something is 100% wrong? I don't know. I think that's kind of what I'm striving for, I'm trying to figure that out. Hmm.

Maybe everyone is trying to figure that out and that's why we're all alive. If everyone knew the right way and everyone knew how to be right there would be no wars or fucking inflammation, or economy sucking, or friends fighting, or dangerous dangerous drugs being used, no violence, no crime. It would be the typical white picket fence with you know, 2.5 kids and a dog and a cat and a married couple that don't get divorced. Hm. Then it might be kind of a boring world, huh?

I'm such a people pleasure that I don't understand that sometimes you can't always be right and you can't always be wrong and you have just fucking cross your fingers and hope that you're right [when you truly want to be]. I guess that's kind of the faith about living --is that you just don't know.

Down the Mountain

It's the kind of statue feeling some may get.

Head sunk into your pillow and your eyes staring up at God--

--up at the heavens.

And you're pleading WHY?

And you don't understand anything.

When your eyes produce the tears they just fall to the outside corners of your eyes,

Down your temples,

and behind your ears.

And you're trying so damn hard.

So hard.

And you're insane!

You're crazy!

Not one person is 100% happy.

What does it feel like?

I wish I knew.

Oh Lord, I do.

Cloud Head

Your hand was so hard to let go of.

But it's done and over with.

Just because I can't feel your hand right now doesn't mean I can't remember what it's like.

It doesn't mean that this heart of my doesn't, either.

Your head is in the clouds, and I thought mine would fit there too.

But just at that moment I lost track of myself.

And you wouldn't have for it.

You let me go.

You cut the line.

My heart monitor seemed to go up and down for awhile, and don't get me wrong, it still does.

I don't want to be just another.

I have always pictured myself as the one.

I am not.

And these feelings of the clouds need to turn back into the ground,

because that's the only thing that is really solid to put my feet on.

Chin up, you can do it.

I'll show you what you're missing.

Woman With One Hand

I'll be o.k.

A one handed musician would be a sad story.

One that is not quite easy to tell.

No use crying over spilt milk.

All of our cards have been dealt.

So put your chin up and give your best forward.

So, don't worry about it.

I'll be o.k.

I'm headed to the north.

I've heard it's cold and the frostbite stings the insides.

Without my right hand, who will keep the left warm?

I'm a smart girl, I'll figure it out.

Tears and blood seems to be what this life is all about.

But like I said--

--I'll be just fine.

Two Thousand & Nine

The time is about four in the morning. I'm sitting in my chair watching Project Runway Season IV. It's about time for me to write a new blog entry and this is the position I'm in: Legs upright on the coffee table, leaning back on my recliner, relying on my WiFi (that I'm stealing) to pull through and not drop out of connection.

This summer has been quite the experience. People come in and out of this house telling me the vibe I have brought into the house is great. It makes me wonder what type of work I will produce in this house. I'm not really sure how the words should be typed out but I'm relying on my memory (of what I can even remember) of the events of this summer. Two thousand and nine. That's it. From the beginning of this summer until now I've watched more movies than one should, drank, smoked, and snorted more than one should. I have eaten more than one should.

I've had a drug dealer, a drunk, and a robber casted away in my house for periods on ends and haven't had a problem with it. I think my morals have been shifted by the ora of this house. I'll finish this later. My brain is shot right now.

A Pint Or Two

Thinking real hard in my head and it's perfect.
Allyson just said,"I'm living in norway above the speedway. Ships sail, Julie."

I can see it all perfect.
I think I said that.

You didn't call today/tonight.
It's cool.
I'm really not pissed and if I was, "I would tell you that."

I'm going to be a musician and spill my heart out to everyone and like it because I think life is all about showing who you really are.

You feel confident, but not mean in anyway.

You're on top of the world.

But can still lift it up to.

Allyson is talking in her head.

I'm going to go draw and make a rode map to where my heart wants it to go. . .