Down the Mountain

It's the kind of statue feeling some may get.

Head sunk into your pillow and your eyes staring up at God--

--up at the heavens.

And you're pleading WHY?

And you don't understand anything.

When your eyes produce the tears they just fall to the outside corners of your eyes,

Down your temples,

and behind your ears.

And you're trying so damn hard.

So hard.

And you're insane!

You're crazy!

Not one person is 100% happy.

What does it feel like?

I wish I knew.

Oh Lord, I do.

Cloud Head

Your hand was so hard to let go of.

But it's done and over with.

Just because I can't feel your hand right now doesn't mean I can't remember what it's like.

It doesn't mean that this heart of my doesn't, either.

Your head is in the clouds, and I thought mine would fit there too.

But just at that moment I lost track of myself.

And you wouldn't have for it.

You let me go.

You cut the line.

My heart monitor seemed to go up and down for awhile, and don't get me wrong, it still does.

I don't want to be just another.

I have always pictured myself as the one.

I am not.

And these feelings of the clouds need to turn back into the ground,

because that's the only thing that is really solid to put my feet on.

Chin up, you can do it.

I'll show you what you're missing.

Woman With One Hand

I'll be o.k.

A one handed musician would be a sad story.

One that is not quite easy to tell.

No use crying over spilt milk.

All of our cards have been dealt.

So put your chin up and give your best forward.

So, don't worry about it.

I'll be o.k.

I'm headed to the north.

I've heard it's cold and the frostbite stings the insides.

Without my right hand, who will keep the left warm?

I'm a smart girl, I'll figure it out.

Tears and blood seems to be what this life is all about.

But like I said--

--I'll be just fine.

Two Thousand & Nine

The time is about four in the morning. I'm sitting in my chair watching Project Runway Season IV. It's about time for me to write a new blog entry and this is the position I'm in: Legs upright on the coffee table, leaning back on my recliner, relying on my WiFi (that I'm stealing) to pull through and not drop out of connection.

This summer has been quite the experience. People come in and out of this house telling me the vibe I have brought into the house is great. It makes me wonder what type of work I will produce in this house. I'm not really sure how the words should be typed out but I'm relying on my memory (of what I can even remember) of the events of this summer. Two thousand and nine. That's it. From the beginning of this summer until now I've watched more movies than one should, drank, smoked, and snorted more than one should. I have eaten more than one should.

I've had a drug dealer, a drunk, and a robber casted away in my house for periods on ends and haven't had a problem with it. I think my morals have been shifted by the ora of this house. I'll finish this later. My brain is shot right now.